


Noodle

by fallingskys



Category: Gorillaz
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-07 23:35:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15918525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallingskys/pseuds/fallingskys





	1. Fear

The one constant in Noodle’s life was fear. The emotion she was most familiar with and knew better than any other. Her first memories were purely of fear and when she thought back she was flooded with the feeling.

So she’d gone out of her way to make sure that she wouldn’t feel that emotion ever again. She rejoined her very public band so that killing her would cause chaos, despite her newfound hatred for the bassist, making it much harder to attack or kill her without outrage. She was the loveable, happy go lucky celebrity everyone could find in their heart to love. She made sure that she kept her skills sharp so that if anyone tried to attack her she could kill them in seconds if the situation called for it.

She hadn’t always been this way, she was naturally happy and excited about everything. The band members all recalling her as a cheerful and upbeat child with a mischievous streak. She had times where she’d get out of control angry for seemingly no reason but only Russel would tell her this and Murdoc only would dare talk about her sweetly now.

She couldn’t remember too much from when she was a child at Kong. Russel had pictures and some videos of her that he’d kept and there were the Gorillaz Bitez that they had filmed but those had been scripted and acted out. She knew she had been extremely close to 2D, hanging out with him whenever she got the chance. He’d been her best friend and older brother. Russel was like her Uncle who she loved and Murdoc had been like her substitute father although if she ever called him that he yelled at her or his face would get strained and she quickly learned to never say that word and that it was forbidden.

Her last memory from her youth being ridden with fear as well. The worst fear, one for someone else. She had no doubt in her mind when Murdoc had his hands wrapped around 2D’s neck that he was going to kill him. She knew the look in a person’s eyes when they had decided without a doubt that they were going to bring about another living human being’s death, it was just back then that she hadn’t realized how.

She’d launched herself at Murdoc, the father figure she had loved and cared for so much, biting down as hard as she possibly could. She could still taste the blood in her mouth from the memory and knew that if it had been anyone other than Murdoc they would have stopped doing their activity immediately from the level of pain she had caused, with her full weight hanging off him.

Finally, Russel had hit Murdoc on the head as hard as possible with a closed fist, knocking him to the ground. Fear still surging through her as she was shaking herself, now knowing what it was that he was capable of. She’d watched as he had gotten up and screamed at 2D, blood oozing from his arm while he pointed and then turned to yell at all of them. Somehow, despite knowing it was wrong, she’d felt guilt over choosing 2D over Murdoc like he’d said back then. Knowing enough English and reading his expression telling her about everything that was happening.

After 2D had come back around and was breathing, she had kissed 2D on the cheek, telling him something in Japanese and hugging him. Turning to Russel to hug his leg quickly, patting his hand affectionately before rushing out the door to her future. She couldn’t stay here anymore and she had to find out who she was. Murdoc wouldn’t come back to the room so 2D would be safe and Russel was always able to take care of himself.

Even when she had been ten on the brink of eleven, she knew that she had to make her own path. So, she’d set out on her journey in Japan to find out her past that she had nightmares about to frequently.

She’d managed to track down an old man in a shop who was supposed to know about the secret government experiments, having been in charge of her own. She’d made her way into the restaurant, reading off the signs to herself in broken English. She figured that he had made them in English for the tourists and paid it no mind while she looked around.

“Ocean bacon?” Noodle had questioned to herself, trying to figure out what that had meant.

She’d felt all the memories flood back at her. When they say ignorance is bliss, they’re correct. That was something she discovered after that, meeting Mr. Kyuzo and clarifying any short questions she had about her past. She’d taken a picture with him when he had asked smiling happily that she knew what was going on now before leaving promptly and thanking him for saving her life all those years ago.

The memories that came back to her when she got back to where she’d been staying were the worst possible images imaginable. She’d taken people’s lives, people who were innocent and didn’t deserve it because of her orders. She would have been killed if she hadn’t when she was a child but it still didn’t serve to comfort her any. The fear and horror amplified only in her dreams, making the experiences more realistic as if she were there again murdering and torturing others for people who she didn’t even know.

When she came back panic attacks, depression, and anxiety spawned from the knowledge of her past and she was no longer the spunky upbeat Noodle of the past. She’d always been wise for her age, an old soul as Russel had called it, but this was different. Those experiences had made her into an adult and everyone in the band seemed to know that, treating her appropriately and discussing things with her like she was.

It was how she wanted it and she wouldn’t let them show affection towards her anymore, she didn’t deserve it and if she had that then Noodle knew without a doubt it would cause her to break down. She didn’t want to talk about it.

Ironically, this brought her even closer to Murdoc. He was an encyclopedia on scarring past experiences and they had bonded over their pain. Growing so close to someone after so long felt nice and despite not wanting to, she got used to having someone to trust and confide in.

He was the only person who understood her. She was pleasant to 2D and Russel but was distant, it was liking living in a house with two close acquaintances or friends who you had faded from but still had lovely memories and a special bond with.

That’s how she lived during that time in her life only extremely close to her father figure Murdoc and no one else, taking on a few of his quirks that were almost unnoticeable.

So he’d been the only one who’d noticed when she was acting squirmish and started to become even more distant. He’d come into her room and asked her when she planned on leaving and she’d looked up at him more curious than angry that he somehow knew about her plans to disappear mysteriously.

“How did you know?” She had asked and he’d chuckled.

“Bit obvious, isn’t it love? You don’t exactly have your belongings disappear into the damned void for no reason at all. It’s not like that sock in the dryer missing situation, is it? Pretty sure that imbecile 2D’s behind it but I wouldn’t put it past Russel to go an’ pull that trick out of his hat as some sort of backwards revenge. You know they still think it’s my fault that you left before? Bloody unbelievable! You left cause you wanted to, always been like me that way, got to pave your own way and all that sappy shit they say in healing circles or whatever they’re called,” Murdoc said.

“You’re right, I might have left a little later if that hadn’t happened but I needed to find out my past. I’m…still not sure if that was the right decision for me or not,” Noodle said.

“Can’t change the past, don’t let it get to you or you’ll end up like me. Not that I’m not someone you want to be like, superstar, mansion, and to top it off leader of a hit band! You don’t want the nasty habits I’ve picked up, is all” He said and she nodded.

“What’s bothering you, monkey?” He asked, plopping himself down on her bed and leaning back making himself comfortable.

“That nickname is embarrassing, I’m not eight anymore Murdoc,” She’d said, although she hadn’t minded it back then.

“And the fact that my middle name’s Faust is too but I’m stuck with it which means you have to deal with that as well. Now are you going to tell me why you’re leaving or am I going to have to shock it out of you because I left my device at home and I’m not in the mood for torture,” He’d said and when he saw her sour expression he’d stopped himself from going on.

“Didn’t mean it, know that’s a sore subject for you, sometimes I can be a real knob. Go ahead, tell me what’s going on and I promise I won’t go off and say something brilliant that’s actually terrible, yeah?” He said, sitting up.

“I feel like I’m losing my barrier with the band. I’m starting to get close and let my guard down and I don’t think I’m ready for that kind of relationship yet,” She said.

“What, the healthy kind? Hate to break the news but running away won’t solve whatever mess is cooking in that smart head of yours,” He’d replied.

“You’re always so understanding Murdoc. Glad I confide in you when it comes to important things,” Noodle had said.

“Look, I’m not going to stop you, just giving a bit of famous Niccals’ advice while I’m here with you,” He’d said and she’d rolled her eyes.

Then he’d told her about his plan that he’d thought of to get rid of Jimmy Manson and she had completely believed him. It was perfect, they’d get rid of an enemy and she wouldn’t have to explain herself to 2D or Russel. She’d get to go away for however long she wanted and be able to return later for another album if she felt like it. There’d be absolutely no pressure and she would have time to find herself and figure everything out alone.

The fear, hurt, and betrayal that she’d felt on that tiny island was etched forever in her mind. She was lucky that her parachute had worked. At the very last second she had just barely managed to get away alive before the bombs went off. She still had a permanent scar around her eye to remind her of that event for the rest of her life, she couldn’t forget if she wanted.

It was easy enough to cover up with makeup luckily and while she explored and found solutions to the problems caused by her past, she had kept tabs on the band. Once, calling out for Murdoc’s help, Gorillaz in general, when she’d come out mostly unscathed and scared but that’d been a mistake. She knew that as soon as she saw the replica of herself that he had made, that all the trust she’d placed in him had been a mistake.

Still being hunted by the Black Cloud and other enemies she had made in her time alone, she had gotten in a boat to the coordinates that she had learned Murdoc was at, not sure if what she would do when she arrived there but knowing that something was compelling her to do so and listening to her instincts served her well most of the time.

She’d ended up assisted by Russel but by the time they got to the island chaos ensued and when she woke up, she found herself in a village located in Japan. When she’d been begged by Murdoc through a pathetic snapchat to join back in the band, she had as a last result needing a quick escape from bodyguard’s of a shapeshifter she had angered by assassinating their boss. Of course, they hadn’t known their boss wasn’t unhuman so it was a fairly appropriate response to try to catch and kill her after the act.

She let herself get close to Russel and 2D but only allowed herself sarcastic remarks in Murdoc’s direction when she felt kind. The cyborg’s head next to her desk with flowers in it to make sure that she remembered the horrible things that he’d done and the lies that he had told and would continue to tell.

When the police came for Murdoc, she’d opened the door while he begged for her help since she was the only one there, she’d shrugged and grinned at him, pointing to her eye with her scar.

“An eye for an eye old man, have fun in jail,” She’d told him, while stepping out of the way of the policemen.

She felt nothing when she’d said it and didn’t feel bad for him while he was begging her to bail him out and how he was sorry. Sorry, that was all she ever heard. Empty sorry’s echoing in her head ever single day of her life.

I’m sorry I ate your pancakes. I’m sorry I hit 2D. I’m sorry I wore your skirt. I’m sorry I tried to have you killed. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

His sorry’s meant nothing and would never mean anything unless he changed and he was a creature of habit so he never would.

When Ace came into the band it was finally full of people she trusted, although she didn’t trust Ace all the way she believed him to be better than Murdoc and that was enough. She made friends with him and he was a bit clingy but it was a nice change of pace and she figured that they could both use the affection that he was more than willing to give.

Everything was perfect until someone had messaged her at random and she decided to give them a chance despite the fact that they were obviously only talking to her to try and free Murdoc from prison. They either had no idea what he did or didn’t care but she couldn’t blame them, blind adoration was a nice thing to have and it wasn’t her place to ruin someone’s love for a person even if it was Murdoc.

It didn’t take her too long to realize the secret message that Murdoc had written and with the coordinates that they’d helped her with, it’d been easy to track down where El Mierda was hiding.

She’d told them that she was going to head out and said goodbye. Noodle decided not to leave at first debating everything but then leaving for the sake of 2D, someone who had always been kind to her no matter what. Even when she’d joined in being rude to him with Murdoc and snickered at some of the stuff that he did to the singer when she was extremely close to Murdoc, 2D had been nothing but pleasant to her.

She was sure that if she’d stabbed 2D that he would have apologized for being rude to her before dying from blood loss. The turmoil that Murdoc had caused him and the abuse that he’d done to 2D was suddenly apparent when she’d stopped looking up to Murdoc. Being hurt physically and mentally while still trying his best to be nice to someone so horrendous was something that was more than impressive to her, most people would have left or done anything else but 2D had stayed and never changed his attitude.

She climbed the mountains grinning when she came across a gang of andean cats on her journey. They were beautiful and she followed them part of her way on her journey, making sure to send the person she’d been texting earlier a photo of herself to show that she was more than okay.

When she got there, she didn’t see anyone at the hideout and sighed. Of course Murdoc would send her on a mission with no actual end. He probably hadn’t even known the proper coordinates in the first place, how would he have? He was in jail.

She unblocked his number momentarily to send him a text telling him not to try and get in contact with her again, gritting her teeth when he sent something back about her abandoning him and trying to guilt trip her about leaving him alone because of El Manana.

She blocked his number thinking about how he was better off in jail, going to sleep once she reached a vaguely safe point to set up camp. She’d head back down the mountain the next day.


	2. Karma

She made herself food in front of the fire that emanated warmth in the otherwise freezing cold environment, reflecting on the nightmare that she’d had. It was always either El Manana, her time as a soldier, 2D nearly dying, Murdoc, or the time after the events of El Manana and before Plastic Beach.

She wondered if it was bad that she categorized the stages of her life by the albums Gorillaz had made and the time she’d been in the government facility. She didn’t think so, everyone had their own way of telling time and this was her’s. Someone might say during highschool while she would say the time before and a little after Demon Days.

She thought about the nightmare that she’d had and her past while she sat cross legged, eating her food, and staring into the fire.

The time after El Manana was a difficult time in her life when she was forced to deal with all the emotions that she’d been ignoring or pushing away while performing and recording for Demon Days. Her only way of expression playing guitar, dancing, and locking herself away in her room where no one else in the band could see.

The fear and regret were definitely the more intense and horrifying of the emotions she felt when it came to her days when she’d been a government experiment and from the El Manana incident. Those were the worst but the one emotion she was most afraid of from the government experiment stage of her life was the blood lust that she occasionally felt.

It was something that had been ingrained in her, she’d never asked for the terrible feeling and would get rid of in a heartbeat if she could. She dealt with it after Plastic Beach in a more healthy way by tracking and killing off a certain demon who she had released on accident, since he’d been evil and wasn’t supposed to live on Earth in the first place no one could argue that it was the wrong road to take.

The part that she didn’t like to talk about was when she decided to take out the blood lust in an unhealthy way. In her mind, it was fair and she would still argue that she hadn’t done anything too improper generally. The people she had killed were scum of the Earth and though she’d been an assassin for hire, the people she agreed to kill had to be morally terrible people who most of the population would secretly believe they finally got what they deserved.

She was playing God though and it eventually got to her head. In a good way, considering she’d realized that what she was doing wasn’t her place despite fair justification.  The combination of the fact that even monsters have family and have those who care about them, accompanied by her starting falling in love with a girl she met had made her turn over a new leaft since she didn’t want to get her potential love killed by having that as a job. After killing off one last person who was the most vile being that she’d ever been forced to research, she had stopped killing.

It made her think about if she would have killed Murdoc if he’d been suggested for her to assassinate, it would have been an interesting request certainly. He had mentally and physically tormented someone for years and tried to get her killed but that didn’t justify killing him. No, she would have kept tabs on him though to make sure he didn’t hurt any others. You could usually threaten these types of people and they’d manage to get their behaviour in check, nobody wanted to die and they were no exception.

She thought more about it as she climbed down the mountain, if the world would have benefitted from not having Murdoc in it. 2D would be better off, there was no doubt there. Russel could hold his own, Murdoc was cruel and teased him but not past the point of a school bully. He didn’t really affect Ace other than his job position but she knew he’d survive if Murdoc came back, she’d miss Ace’s company though.

What about herself? She was generally selfless except when she had to be selfish for her own wellbeing but then again, was taking care of yourself really seen as being selfish? If it was, she wasn’t sure that being selfish was too bad of a thing, depending on the situation, of course.

Would she be better off without Murdoc? Certainly she’d be less stressed, having someone full of lies who tried to kill her gone from her life would be a much healthier option. It was known by everyone who befriended or met Murdoc that he was toxic. She tried to think of a list of all the bad things that he had done.

He’d started to bully others when he’d realized that was a way to get ahead in life. He’d legally blinded 2D, who could see but terribly as Noodle had once found him talking to a tiny decorative palm tree in the lobby of the dentist. He’d put a teenager into a coma and while he was in that state, Murdoc had bullied him within an inch of his life. He’d given 2D permanent brain damage. Bullied Russel up to the point where he was about to snap. He’d nearly killed 2D when he’d choked him and if Russel hadn’t interfered, 2D would be dead right now.

He’d tried to kill her, leaving a permanent scar and a haunting memory she couldn’t seem to ever forget. He’d replaced her with a cyborg of herself as a teenager. He’d tortured 2D with something he had a serious phobia of while trapping him in a small room with little entertainment, only letting him out when he needed 2D to sing on the album. He’d also fed 2D only scraps of whatever food Murdoc ate himself and only occasionally remembered to give him water, refusing to take 2D to a doctor whenever he got sick.

It was a pretty impressive list of incriminating things that Murdoc had done over the years. If anyone else had done these things they would have paid for it dearly yet Murdoc had gotten off without punishment until now where he was in jail.

If he came back, when he came back, there was no telling what he would do. Sure he hadn’t done anything too disastrous yet except for send her on this wild goose chase with no worries about her own safety but he would never change, he’d had 52 years to try and improve on who he was and hadn’t so much as tried to be a better person than who he was.

She’d stayed in a hotel when she came back home, not sure she wanted to return home yet. She was on a dangerous path of thinking but it was also a logical and justified idea. There was no way of guaranteeing that Murdoc would stay in jail and where he was stuck at, he was only suffering. She supposed that was karma but she didn’t like seeing anyone, even Murdoc, having to deal with ill treatment of that proportion.

She’d been leaning against the backboard of the bed, strumming notes on the guitar that she’d brought with her when she received another text. She’d sighed, not really feeling up to talking to anyone even if the fan of the band was generally kind. She was a little thrown off when she saw the text was from an unknown number and hoped that whoever it was that had been talking to Murdoc hadn’t give her number away to the public or any of their friends.

She read over the text that was simply, “He’s trying to escape.” She decided to text back, taking another risk. 2D and the others would understand if she had to disappear from the world again, after all she was a free spirit and had a few people who would gladly kill her without a second thought.

“Who is this?” She replied, not adding an emoji since the message she had received was quite cryptic and probably not from anyone she should be friendly with.

They replied back with simply, “Like I said, a friend. Thought you’d be interested in Murdoc’s actions.”

“What’s his escape plan?” She sent, even if the information they texted her in response was false, she could always do her own research and find that out.

“Sewer system. I can give him a fake map so he can’t escape if you want.” They texted.

“Ok.” She responded.

“He’ll die.” The next text answered.

She thought about it. This was probably a bluff, a good one but a bluff nonetheless but if it was real. She wasn’t sure she wanted Murdoc out of jail and if he had to die to protect her real family, who had never betrayed her and didn’t deserve to be tortured by Murdoc any longer, then maybe that was for the best. She could deal with the guilt of his death on her hands for them to be happy and safe, she decided.

“Make sure no one is hurt, ok? Only Murdoc.”

She sent back and didn’t get a response which made her nervous but it was too late to change her actions taken now. Either Murdoc would be dead or he would live out the rest of his life in jail, soon she would find out which one. For now, she would stay at the hotel here for a little bit longer and explore her surroundings. She didn’t feel like visiting home until she knew for sure what was going to happen. She needed an alibi if something bad did occur and she’d gotten good at disguising her looks so that she couldn’t be recognized by anyone.

She missed the buzz of the house and the band though. Ace obnoxiously changing the channel without even seeing what was playing, driving Russel nuts while 2D scribbled away in his journal with his tongue poked out of his mouth. She brang the phone with her, thinking up how to destroy it best. Whether or not Murdoc would be dead in future, she still didn’t want random strangers to have access to her number and wasn’t fond of the habit of carrying around useless hardware around with her.


End file.
